How'd It Go?

Thank you all so much for your prayers this week. They were and continue to be appreciated more than we can say.

You might remember that his dosages went up this time. There was an obvious difference in how Joshua's body responded to the larger doses, but as usual, he handled it like the pro he has become. Every morning, Joshua woke up happy, but hungry. After about 3 or 4 breakfasts, he was good to go until the next snack. Surprisingly, Joshua napped well each day. But at around 5 pm he would hit a wall. He was hungry, but nothing tasted good. He was tired, but didn't want to sleep. He was cold, but a blanket made him hot. It's very weird, but we've become convinced that during this time he just feels everything, from hunger to happiness to pain to temperature to love, more acutely. He'll turn on a dime from throwing a fit over the smallest thing to grabbing you and telling you over and over again that he loves and is thankful for you.

You get the idea. There were some tears, but in the end we all made it to the next morning, every day. Thankfully, Joshua took his last dose of steroids this morning and the ill effects will begin to fade even tonight. 

Some Tough Moments

This morning started out pretty normal for a clinic day. Joshua and I left around 8 o'clock without breakfast because he had anesthesia scheduled for his spinal tap. Joshua seemed absolutely fine, even watching Andi eat breakfast without complaining. Joshua was doing a great job at the clinic. He didn't shed a single tear while was being accessed, being examined by Dr. Zeiber, or while receiving meds through his line. Then, while he and I were playing dinosaurs on the floor, he stepped on his line and pulled the needle out of his port. OUCH! The nurses fixed him up and restarted his meds. Unfortunately, this sent Joshua into a tailspin of emotions. His crying and lack of food led to a drop in blood sugar. After quite a bit more crying, they gave him some liquids through his line and he perked up enough to proceed to his spinal tap.

Before we went downstairs for Joshua's procedure, Dr. Zeiber came back to talk to us about Joshua's home meds. Currently, Joshua is at 100% of his chemo pills (based on weight/height). Because his counts were up, she informed us that we would need to up his dosage to 120%. The fact that Joshua's counts are up is good news. We rejoice in that. At the same time, we get nervous when Joshua's dosage gets very high because it can very easily cause a crash to his immune system. Along with the increase in chemo, she also needed to increase his steroids. YUCK! As we have shared many times before, the steroids cause so many strange side effects. Thus, an increase in steroids means an increase in side effects.

The spinal tap went well and the nurses had his cherry coke Icee waiting for him when he finished. After a very long morning, at around 2 o'clock we made it to one of Joshua's favorites, Jason's Deli. He broke his fast in fine style to the point that the manager came over and asked if he wanted a refill on his fruit. I guess he noticed how quickly he downed the strawberries. It was a pleasant end to a long day.

Please pray through the news about Joshua's increase in dosage. Pray that he can continue to show his courage and strength in this fight. Pray also for Michael, Andi, and me. Pray that we will be patient and encouraging toward Joshua and each other. Thank you again for your faithfulness.

Wednesdays Are For Chemo

From Michael's blog this morning:

At least they are in our house. Usually I reserve the weekends for a "Weekends Are For Kids" post, but I thought since today is a big appointment day I might give you a glimpse into Joshua's treatment cycle in case you're interested.

Just to refresh your memory, Joshua (then 2 years old) was diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia).

Eventually, we settled into this basic routine:

- Joshua takes chemo pills every day.

- Every Wednesday, he takes 7.

- Every 4 weeks he has intravenous chemo sent directly into his blood stream through a port in his chest.

- Every 12 weeks, in addition to the above, he has a spinal tap to put the chemo into his spinal column.

Today is week 12, so we've got it all happening this morning. This is the 844 day Joshua has taken a chemo pill. It's his 30th time to have the medicine go into his chest. It's his 10th spinal tap. And he keeps on smiling.

For this, I am thankful and so very proud of my boy. In just a few minutes, he'll jump out of bed excited to go to the hospital. He'll bravely take his medicine with the promise of an ICEE when he comes out of his anisthesia. And he'll try hard for the next 6 days to feel good.

We continue to feel blessed for Joshua's progress, so thankful that God has sustained us and him thusfar, and continue to take one step at a time in fear and trembling. Thanks for going there with us.

A Little Sunshine

Marathon Training

I did it. On Saturday, I ran 14 miles. I decided I wouldn't make my training official until I had run more than a half marathon to get ready. So now I am in. I am training again with Team in Training. They continue to be such a supportive organization and have made Joshua a Honored Teammate this year. We are thankful for what the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society does and we wanted to make sure that if hundreds of people were running in Joshua's honor, one of us was running as well. I'll keep you posted on the progress. In the meantime, check out the websites highlighted above and feel free to give to support the cause.

Surprise Attack

Today, after nap time, I took the kids to the nearest drugstore to grab a few things. I rarely stray from the list at the store, but for this, I could not resist. Joshua saw Silly String on the toy aisle and asked if we could get. Memories of all night lock-ins and cool kids' birthday parties came flooding back. We purchased the Silly String and made a plan to attack Daddy as soon as he came home.

Practicing before Daddy gets home.

Andi got her own turn, but was not all that impressed with it.

Get 'em Joshua!

Love the face, Michael. Very convincing!

Michael finally bends to the will of the Silly String. 

What a fun 10 minutes! Worth every penny!

New Knives? What Was I Thinking?

I chopped off the tip of my thumb tonight. (I know some of you are not surprised.) It hurt, but not nearly as much as I thought it would as soon as it happened.  When it wouldn't stop bleeding, I decided I should probably have someone look at it. After a not-so-thorough examination at the CVS Minute Clinic it was determined that some gauze and antiseptic spray would do the job. I'm guessing it will take a long time for this one to heal. So, next time you see me, give me a thumbs-up because I'll sure be giving one right back.

25 Random Things About Me

Yes, I fell into the trap of answering this tag on Facebook so I thought I would share it here also. It actually turned out to be quite fun. 

1. I love Dr. Pepper. I drink it every day. 

2. I am crazy competitive about most things. I've gotten much better about this. (Right Michael?) 

3. I run a lot. I enjoy it, but mostly I do it so I can eat whatever I want. 

4. I eat whatever I want. I rarely choose healthy foods. 

5. Everyday before Michael comes home, I like to put on lipstick and comb my hair. 

6. I am proud that my almost 2 year old can say, "Starbucks."  

7. Spring weather is my favorite. Every year, on the first warm day, I buy a magazine, go to a park, and paint my toenails. (Michael kindly watches the kids) 

8. Bravo reality TV is some of my favorite. I can't get enough of Top Chef and Project Runway. 

9. My secret dream is to be a dancer like the ones on "So You Think You Can Dance" 10. I enjoy studying the Bible with women, but don't like being called "Beloved" "Sister" or any of the other girly terms that come when Christian girls get together. 

11. I can't stand to watch cartoons that are made for adults. What's the point? 

12. I love having people in my home. If you stay past our kids' bedtime there is strong chance you'll be asked to play Scrabble with us. 

13. Hearing my children giggle is my favorite sound. 

14. I think about December 20, 2009 all the time...the last day of Joshua's treatment. 15. For the first time in 10 years, I love my church. 

16. I worked summer camp one year at Student Life. I was the Black Team leader and lead youth groups in a cheer that included something like, "Black Attack! Black Attack!" I wish I could have those days back. Not my thing. 

17. I love being married to Michael. There is no one I have more fun with. 

18. It would be impossible for me to wear any more clothes to bed than I do every night. (sweatshirt, pants, socks...the works) 

19. Finding a good deal with coupons and such has become a game for me. Which is great since I'm so competitive. 

20. I enjoy reading. I feel smart when I read books about theology and history, but I love to read Christian fiction novels. Cheesy! 

21. I am a very methodical TV watcher. I check DVDs out from the library, watch it on-line, and NOW I have Tivo. My favorite series are Felicity, Gilmore Girls, Friday Night Lights, Bones, and Arrested Development. 

22. Getting stuff done during nap time stresses me out. Everyday when the kids go to sleep I get a treat of some kind and work on my methodical TV watching or my Christian fiction. 

23. Michael says there are 2 of me. State-side Jana who likes to do her hair and is overly particular about food preparation. After 3 international trips together, he says there is also world-traveler Jana who doesn't mind cold showers, undercooked meats and body odor. I guess I put up a good front. 

24. Michael and I got married when we were 20. We tried to rent a car on our honeymoon and they said they didn't rent to minors. So, we used public transportation all over Lake Tahoe. Very romantic! 

25. I thought I loved Jesus 5 years ago, before I had kids. I did, but I become increasingly more aware of my need for grace and my fight for joy alongside Him who is able.  

Two years ago I was tagged to do this on my blog and I couldn't think of anything that didn't involve Joshua's Leukemia. Wow how things can change. This was freeing.

As for tagging someone else...I'll tag you all. I love reading this stuff.

Andi's Talking

Andi has been learning new words on a regular basis. But recently, she has picked up the pace. No doubt, a contributing factor is her older brother constantly asking her to repeat words. Joshua thinks it is just as cute as we do when Andi says, Josh-josh (Joshua), pin-cess, Jee-cess (princess and Jesus sound alot alike), pees (please), tan-tou (thank you), and several others. Check out for yourself in this sweet little video.

Back From Clinic and Happy News

Everything went well at the clinic today. Joshua's blood counts were in the perfect zone. Great news considering all of the travel and sickness we have been through in the past month. They administered his chemo and IVIG (immune booster), and gave us the prescription for steroids. It may be a tough weekend, but officially only 12 more treatments left. Dr. Zieber says that barring no complications, December 20th will be our final day of treatment.

Hard to believe that we've been on this road for 2 years and three months. 

Hard to believe there's less than a year to go.

We aren't throwing a party today, but my heart is leaping for joy.

Clinic

Joshua and I are headed to the clinic today for his monthly treatment. Please pray that all goes well.

Surprisingly Great

When I got a call from my friend, Valerie, that she wanted me to join her at a Bryan Adams concert at the Ryman. I immediately said, "Yes." Valerie was quite surprised that I was so eager to join her. Apparently, I was the 4th person she had called and the others had all laughed at her request.  To be honest, my excitement was a combination of wanting to go to a concert at the Ryman (my first after living here for almost 5 years) and wanting to go to concert that I would know at least half of the songs. Even though I was only 7 when Bryan Adams hit the world by storm with the Summer of '69, my 2 older sisters heavily influenced my choice of music growing up.

As for the actual concert, it was great. It was a solo acoustic show with no opening act. That means it was Bryan Adams for two hours. He played every song I was hoping for as well as some Willie Nelson covers. Even better though, he didn't play "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You." A strong choice since that song has been overplayed to the highest degree. Also, as a bonus, he had a song writer from here in Nashville join him for a few songs. I don't remember her name, but she was great also. The biggest kicker though, was when Martina McBride emerged from two rows in front of us the join Bryan on stage. They sang "It's Only Love," It is a song he originally did with Tina Turner, but Martina did it justice with her killer pipes and super short skirt. 

All in all, it was a great night and I am thankful to Valerie for including me in the experience. For the rest of you, keep me in mind when you are looking for someone to join you at any obscure concerts. I'll be glad to cheer for any 80's rocker you throw my way.

Make a Wish Trip

SHHHHH....

We're going to Disney World for Joshua's Make-a-Wish Trip in April. 

We accidentally told some people, then some more people, so we figured everybody ought to know... except Joshua. It's still a surprise to him, so everybody keep your yappers shut.

We've said it before, but let me say it again - this organization is incredible. They've arranged for a limo to pick us up from our house to take us to the airport. They bought our flights. They rented us a car in Orlando. They are providing us tickets to any theme parks in the area. And they have a great place for us to stay.

The resort is called the "Give Kids the World Village." We'll have our own villa, 5 on site restaurants, ice cream all day long, several pools, and a life-size Candyland playground among other things. Should be great.

Adding to the awesomeness of the Make a Wish Foundation is the fact that a week before we leave, they're going to host a party for Joshua somewhere cool (don't know where yet). All his friends are going to be invited, and that's when he'll find out that he's going to Disney World.

So until then, the first rule of the Make a Wish trip is - Don't talk about the Make a Wish trip.

The second rule of the Make a Wish trip is - Don't talk about the Make a Wish trip.

A Merry Christmas

After all the difficulty of that surrounded this Christmas season, we found abundant joy in being surrounded by family and celebrating the glorious gift of Jesus Christ.

The Yearly Question

This is the first Christmas we will spend without our daddy at home. Our family has always been very close with lots of traditions that have maintained throughout our childhood and carried over to our adulthood. One tradition, that my dad started about the time me and my sisters were all able to think for ourselves (pretty young since we are all girls. haha), was the yearly questions. Dad was always good at asking questions at the dinner table or before bed, but the yearly questions were a bit tougher to answer. They always required thought and somehow a piece of yourself...questions about your future, your greatest victory, a time when you chose to forgive, a time when you should have, about making friends, or learning lessons. All questions that could transform your thought processes.

Every year I would spend time before Christmas Eve trying to figure out what the question was going to be that year. But inevitably, he would go a completely different direction than I was prepared to go. When 7pm on December 24th came around, after the nachos had been eaten and the Christmas story had been carefully read from Luke 2, the question was asked of each of us. We gave our answers, usually through teary eyes, and followed that time with sweet times of prayer for one another based on our answers. So, this year, dad will not be able to ask the questions, but I will sit beside him and share about the wonderful ways that he shaped our lives with the questions he did get to ask.

A Bit of Christmas Cheer

Settled

Dad is now settled into his new home. The director and nurses said that the first 24 to 48 hours are usually the most difficult. I'm not sure if they were meaning for dad or for us, but I think both were true. It is a lovely facility, but the anxiety of leaving him in a new place was very present.
We have visited him everyday and each day he shows signs of progress. Today, in fact, he was walking without assistance while eating ice cream from a bowl. This may seems small, but he was not walking or eating on his own 3 days ago...a major victory. It was also good to see dad smiling and making jokes with the nurses. More than anything, today was a chance to see dad being very well cared for.
I am so very thankful for my family through this process. The decisions were made quickly, without anyone's will being exerted above someone else's and with everyone's feelings being addressed and thought of. Everyone contributed to the process and no one took over. As difficult as this process was and continues to be, I could not have asked for a more supportive and loving family to do it with.

Tough Choices

This week, my family is forced to make some very tough choices about something we haven't talked a whole lot about. My dad has Parkinson's Disease. The Parkinson's that my dad was diagnosed with 5  years ago has now been further diagnosed as Lewy Body Dementia. While most people think of Parkinson's and think about the physical symptoms that accompany it, like the inability to walk and shaking hands, Lewy Body adds some additional symptoms. The symptoms of this progressive disease require our family to move him to an Alzheirmer Care Facility. 

Less than two years ago my dad was sitting on the bench as a district judge. This terrible disease has caused dad's body and memory to deteriorate at a rapid rate. He has good days and bad days, but unfortunately the bad days vastly outnumber the good ones. And the good ones are getting less good.

Some days he remembers who everyone is; alot of days he doesn't. Some days he can pick out what he is seeing as a hallucination, and some days he can't. 

So I'm in Texas a few days early, visiting some facilities, sorting through finances, and being a part of the decision-making process with my family. 

Here is one of those parts of life you never really expect and aren't really prepared for. 

Only 10...

...Days until Christmas.

Happy Birthday Mom

Ramona Casey grew up in the tiny farm town of Causey, New Mexico. At the age of 4, my mom met a sweet little boy named Joe Parker in her Sunday School class at the local First Baptist Church. During their high school years they began to date and both realized their desire to pursue higher education, something uncommon in this tiny town. Upon high school graduation, they were accepted at the University of Eastern New Mexico, where they both pursued degrees in education.

Shortly after starting college, at the age of 19, they were married with a borrowed dress, a wedding cake made by her sister, and yellow daisy adorning the church. Only a few years later, my mom experienced difficult loss through a tubal pregnancy that left doctors unsure of her ability to have more children. Thankfully, God blessed them with 3 daughters over the next 7 years. During that time, mom completed both her bachelor's and master's degrees in education and began a teaching career that would last nearly 20 years.

Mom was always a great support to my dad as he pursued his career as an attorney and eventually as a judge. Somehow my mom always managed to work while also keeping us fed with wholesome homemade meals. Not only that, but she also showed me and my sisters how to pursue Christ through a daily quiet time and by using her spiritual gift of hospitality. I can't remember a time without extra dinner guests, planning the next year's Labor Day breakfast, or hosting a weekly Bible study.

As my children begin to learn loving books and Bible stories, I am reminded of the many hours my mom spent reading to me every night. I also think of the night I became a follower of Christ. I was 10 years old and on the way home from the grocery store, my mom and I began to talk about Jesus' place in my life. After we pulled into the garage, we sat and prayed together. It is a vivid memory in my mind and a foundational moment in my walk with the Lord. 

Thank you mom. Have a very Happy Birthday.