
So today is October 18, 2007, the one year anniversary of when Joshua was diagnosed with leukemia. What an awful day. Jana and I talked for a while about what we wanted to do for this blog; we thought about doing a "thankful" post, we thought about doing a "review" post, we thought about being funny, sad, or incredibly spiritual. In the end, we decided to go with some of each. So here, on the one year anniversary, are just a few observations from the last year:
1. Joshua has a wicked cowlick. We never knew it until his hair fell out and started coming back, but he is destined for a life of frustration with barbers who cut him just a little too short.
2. People's words are not as important as their presence. One of the most meaningful times we have had was when a year ago, we sat in the hospital waiting room with some good people and watched the World Series. And we didn't talk about cancer.
3. God uses the Church to remind the Church of Him. In moments when you are tempted to forget who the Lord is in your life, God uses people in your community to remind you of Himself.
4. Vanderbilt Children's Hospital makes an incredible grilled cheese sandwich.
5. Faith is not the absence of questions and doubt. Faith is the ability to move forward despite questions and doubt.
6. Joshua is brave. We never imagined he would go through something like this, and we never imagined being as proud of him as we are for doing it with courage.
7. The common denominator of humanity is pain, and everybody medicates their pain somehow.
8. The question of "Why?" is not nearly as important as we thought it might have been.
9. Nurses could care less if you are naked. When they knock, they're coming in.
10. Joshua is teaching us to live in the moment. I think during these times you can either fall into thinking about life before the cancer, or losing yourself in what might come in the future. But Joshua lives in the now. Tomorrow he may feel bad, and yesterday he might have felt much better, but right now, there are trains to be played with and puzzles to be put together. Maybe faith doesn't so much give you the ability to face the future as it gives you the ability to live in the present without having to resort to the past or the future.
11. The second child is more laid back than the first one.
12. The Lord doesn't offer or owe explanations of His decisions. But we have come to believe that He somehow feels the pain of His children more deeply than we do. He may not offer explanations, but He offers tears.
13. Life really is a journey, not a destination. An interesting "seminary" tidbit here - the terminology "relationship with Christ" is not found anywhere in Scripture. We made that up. Instead of that, the Bible talks about a "walk." But here is the interesting thing: the word "walk" in Hebrew means "human locomotion without any indication of destination." So evidently a walk with Christ is more about the process than the end. To walk with Jesus is not to look up every 5 minutes asking, "Where are we going? What is my job going to be? Who am I going to marry? Where am I going to live?" It is to walk. Those questions come up in the conversation as you move together.
14. It is really, really great to know that you are loved.
So there you go, just a few things from the last year. Maybe you want to add yours, not about us necessarily but about your last year. How are you different? What have you observed? We'd love to know.