A Merry Christmas

After all the difficulty of that surrounded this Christmas season, we found abundant joy in being surrounded by family and celebrating the glorious gift of Jesus Christ.

The Yearly Question

This is the first Christmas we will spend without our daddy at home. Our family has always been very close with lots of traditions that have maintained throughout our childhood and carried over to our adulthood. One tradition, that my dad started about the time me and my sisters were all able to think for ourselves (pretty young since we are all girls. haha), was the yearly questions. Dad was always good at asking questions at the dinner table or before bed, but the yearly questions were a bit tougher to answer. They always required thought and somehow a piece of yourself...questions about your future, your greatest victory, a time when you chose to forgive, a time when you should have, about making friends, or learning lessons. All questions that could transform your thought processes.

Every year I would spend time before Christmas Eve trying to figure out what the question was going to be that year. But inevitably, he would go a completely different direction than I was prepared to go. When 7pm on December 24th came around, after the nachos had been eaten and the Christmas story had been carefully read from Luke 2, the question was asked of each of us. We gave our answers, usually through teary eyes, and followed that time with sweet times of prayer for one another based on our answers. So, this year, dad will not be able to ask the questions, but I will sit beside him and share about the wonderful ways that he shaped our lives with the questions he did get to ask.

A Bit of Christmas Cheer

Settled

Dad is now settled into his new home. The director and nurses said that the first 24 to 48 hours are usually the most difficult. I'm not sure if they were meaning for dad or for us, but I think both were true. It is a lovely facility, but the anxiety of leaving him in a new place was very present.
We have visited him everyday and each day he shows signs of progress. Today, in fact, he was walking without assistance while eating ice cream from a bowl. This may seems small, but he was not walking or eating on his own 3 days ago...a major victory. It was also good to see dad smiling and making jokes with the nurses. More than anything, today was a chance to see dad being very well cared for.
I am so very thankful for my family through this process. The decisions were made quickly, without anyone's will being exerted above someone else's and with everyone's feelings being addressed and thought of. Everyone contributed to the process and no one took over. As difficult as this process was and continues to be, I could not have asked for a more supportive and loving family to do it with.

Tough Choices

This week, my family is forced to make some very tough choices about something we haven't talked a whole lot about. My dad has Parkinson's Disease. The Parkinson's that my dad was diagnosed with 5  years ago has now been further diagnosed as Lewy Body Dementia. While most people think of Parkinson's and think about the physical symptoms that accompany it, like the inability to walk and shaking hands, Lewy Body adds some additional symptoms. The symptoms of this progressive disease require our family to move him to an Alzheirmer Care Facility. 

Less than two years ago my dad was sitting on the bench as a district judge. This terrible disease has caused dad's body and memory to deteriorate at a rapid rate. He has good days and bad days, but unfortunately the bad days vastly outnumber the good ones. And the good ones are getting less good.

Some days he remembers who everyone is; alot of days he doesn't. Some days he can pick out what he is seeing as a hallucination, and some days he can't. 

So I'm in Texas a few days early, visiting some facilities, sorting through finances, and being a part of the decision-making process with my family. 

Here is one of those parts of life you never really expect and aren't really prepared for. 

Only 10...

...Days until Christmas.

Happy Birthday Mom

Ramona Casey grew up in the tiny farm town of Causey, New Mexico. At the age of 4, my mom met a sweet little boy named Joe Parker in her Sunday School class at the local First Baptist Church. During their high school years they began to date and both realized their desire to pursue higher education, something uncommon in this tiny town. Upon high school graduation, they were accepted at the University of Eastern New Mexico, where they both pursued degrees in education.

Shortly after starting college, at the age of 19, they were married with a borrowed dress, a wedding cake made by her sister, and yellow daisy adorning the church. Only a few years later, my mom experienced difficult loss through a tubal pregnancy that left doctors unsure of her ability to have more children. Thankfully, God blessed them with 3 daughters over the next 7 years. During that time, mom completed both her bachelor's and master's degrees in education and began a teaching career that would last nearly 20 years.

Mom was always a great support to my dad as he pursued his career as an attorney and eventually as a judge. Somehow my mom always managed to work while also keeping us fed with wholesome homemade meals. Not only that, but she also showed me and my sisters how to pursue Christ through a daily quiet time and by using her spiritual gift of hospitality. I can't remember a time without extra dinner guests, planning the next year's Labor Day breakfast, or hosting a weekly Bible study.

As my children begin to learn loving books and Bible stories, I am reminded of the many hours my mom spent reading to me every night. I also think of the night I became a follower of Christ. I was 10 years old and on the way home from the grocery store, my mom and I began to talk about Jesus' place in my life. After we pulled into the garage, we sat and prayed together. It is a vivid memory in my mind and a foundational moment in my walk with the Lord. 

Thank you mom. Have a very Happy Birthday. 

The Memphis Report

It was a great race for all of us. My 3 friends and I were able to complete the half marathon in just under two hours. We all had made this our goal, but I was unsure of my ability to keep up with everyone. Thankfully, the many posters along the way that reminded us of the many children we were running for combined with the encouragement of my friends, we were able to get it done. Check out their posts here and here.

Michael also did a great job in the full marathon, improving his time, once again, by 20 minutes from the last marathon he ran. I am so very proud of him. You can read a little more about his thoughts here. Just to give you a little more insight into my husband, Michael crossed the finish line looking deservedly tired and claiming this was his last marathon. Today, he using words like someday and maybe. Next week, he will start talking about when he will start his training for a marathon in the spring. Maybe he will snap out of it and be finished or maybe he will run 25 more. Either way, he has proven that he is not only an amazing athlete, but also a person of courage and determination.

If you have ever considered running a half marathon, this a great one to do. A great cause, a good (flat) course with a fun finish line. On the other hand, according to Michael, the second half of the marathon is a bit bleak with a few more hills at the very end than he expected. Still a great cause, but it takes a lot more heart to run when there is no one cheering. 

Thank you Jason for the pictures.

Memphis

Tomorrow we run. Michael will run the full and I will run the half. I am really looking forward to this race, but even more looking forward to the weekend as a whole. We have the privilege of hanging out with some really quality people:  the Seavers, the Smiths, and the Hayes.

I look forward to telling you all about it when we return. Have a great weekend.

Our Girl

Here's Andi using her spoon all by herself. Fruity Cheerios in a Dora bowl. What could be better?
Andi got her first Christmas present early while her Gram and Papaw were in town for Thanksgiving. Her first baby doll stroller. No hesitation here. She knew just what to do with it.
Doesn't she look so big here? I didn't think girls learned how to hold that sassy stance until they were at least 10. Boy, do we have our work cut out for us. But with that sweet grin, it is worth every moment.

Daddy's Home

While Joshua has continued to feel pretty yucky today, I'm reminded of what a wonderful sound it is to hear Michael come in the door. He is great at allowing it to be a time of relief for me. More importantly though, it is a sweet time for him and the kids. I usually just sit back to watch and listen.

Andi usually runs to him and yells, "Mama! Mama!" and then snickers because she knows how to say Daddy. Joshua is most likely hiding in the same spot he was in the day before waiting to surprise Michael all over again. Then, a few weeks ago Michael started asking Joshua to share three things about his day with him. It is a great tradition because now Joshua has taken to asking Michael the same question. Right now, the answers on both sides usually includes something about food and maybe something about a friend. My prayer is that this can continue into those dreaded teens years with everyone included.

Thanks for being such an amazing father and husband to us. We all love you so much!

Couches and Stadiums

Joshua was pretty sick at his stomach every afternoon this week. We weren't certain if he would be well enough for us to use the Titans tickets the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society had given to us. Thankfully, Joshua woke up Sunday morning feeling good enough to try.

Joshua spent most of his time waiting for the next snack and watching T-Rac, the Titan mascot. (Does anyone know why the Titans have a racoon for their mascot? We're curious.)

When I said most of his time, I meant the time that he was a awake. The poor guy was still worn out and slept from the end of the 2nd quarter to the start of the 4th.

The game was a great experience that I'm glad we were able to be apart of. Unfortunately, this happened to be the game that broke the Titans 10-0 record. Final score Jets 34 Titans 13 :-(

A Long Day

We are finally home from the clinic. Today was a very busy day with tons of patients trying to get their appointments finished before the holiday. Because of the large number of patients, the wait for each step of our day was a little longer than normal (not the best day to be without food, since Joshua couldn't eat before his spinal tap). That being said, Joshua, as usual, handled the day like the champ that he is. 

He waited in the clinic waiting room patiently. 

He waited in the line to have his port accessed patiently. 

He waited for Dr. Zieber to be available to see him patiently. 

He waited for a chair on the chemo floor patiently (since they were all full). 

He waited for his IVIG to finish patiently. 

He waited for his Vincristin to be pushed through his port patiently.

He waited in the surgery waiting room patiently.

He waited while they gave him two breathing treatments before sedation patiently.

He waited for the sedation team to come to the surgery floor patiently.

He waited for his Icee to come after he woke up from the spinal tap patiently. (not the toughest wait of the day)

He waited for our car to come pick us up. (yes I use valet on sedation days and I'm not ashamed of that)

Ironically, when I left to pick up Joshua's medicine at the pharmacy and they didn't have it ready. I quickly gave a big sigh and asked how long I would have to wait. Maybe I should take a cue from my boy!

My friend, Rebecca, refers to this portion of our 12 week cycles as the "dark days." I want so much not to feel that way and I pray each time that my emotions will not be landblasted. Unfortunately, I am always met the harshness of this experience. Today, however, I am graciously reminded that the Lord is my LIGHT and my salvation and that He, above all else, is the stronghold of my life. (Psalm 27:1-2) Today, I will do my very best to rest in that.

A Second Try

Because of Joshua's hospital stay, his doctors chose to postpone last week's chemo and spinal tap. Instead we will go tomorrow. Following tomorrow's appointment, he will take the usual five days of steroids. As you have so many times before, please pray for patience as Joshua waits to eat until after the spinal tap, for a smooth procedure, and for minimal side effects throughout the week to come.

Quality Play Time

Andi has discovered her girly side. Here she is blow-drying Abby Cadaby's hair while wearing a her new princess crown. Thank you Seaver girls for getting her started! I'm sure Christmas will add to the girly fun.

Joshua is still really into his action figures. I love to see him take such care in setting up the story. Here he is setting Batman in a battle against the pirates and the knights. I asked him who was going to win. His reply, "Batman, of course." I guess I should have known that.

Home Again

Everybody's back home today after being discharged about 11:30. All seems to be well. We're hoping that we can get back on the "no hospital train" again after the last 4 weeks and 3 hospital stays. Thanks for praying for us.

Moving Rooms

Well, it happened again. We were asked to move to another room. When we left the ER, we were placed in the Myleosuppression Unit. This unit is saved for HEM-ONC (hematology-oncology) patients like ourselves. It is so great to be in that unit because we know all the nurses and they know our history of being there. When we got to the floor, they weren't sad to see us, but excited. They knew this visit was just a blip on the screen of a whole bunch of terrible previous visits. They always celebrate how far we have come, how big Joshua has gotten, and how Andi has grown (they always remember her name and ask to see pictures). I think it probably feels good for them to see some of their patients thriving and for us to remember the journey that we've already walked. On top of all of that, they give excellent care. The respond promptly and take initiative to ask doctors questions on our behalf. Unit 6A is the tops.

If you read the post about the last time we were asked to move you probably saw that Michael made a very convincing argument that we handled the move with grace and dignity. What you didn't see was my reaction. I was angry and this very pregnant and emotional mom did not take it well. I had a very sick little boy that wasn't sick enough to be in that unit. I couldn't understand why they didn't see that the way I did. 

This time is much different. When our nurse came to tell us that there was a transplant patient that needed our room, I asked how soon we could be in another room. Since the last room move, we have known 6 children that lost this terrible fight. 5 of them were transplant patients. Today I just wanted to do everything I could to help someone else's fight. Because, as hard as it is to believe, Joshua is in the final rounds, regardless of the 13 months we have to go. Today I just wanted to be thankful that Joshua's fight has not had to include a transplant of any kind.  Today I just wanted to pray that the family that moved into our room is able to win their fight against cancer. Please pray to that end with me.

One More Day

The word from the doctors is that Joshua will probably get to go home tomorrow morning. That's 48 hours after he came in. The good news is that he's feeling better today and started eating again. So one more glorious night in the hospital.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that Jana and Joshua are being moved upstairs from the ER. That's very good.

Bad news is that they are going to keep Joshua for at least 48 hours again. So there you go. Since this is the third time in 4 weeks we've been in the hospital, we're praying that he would be able to kick whatever nagging viral / infection he has that keeps putting us in there. We'll also be spending some time talking and praying about if there's something in his schedule that needs to change to keep him out of the hospital.

Also, we were supposed to have an appointment today for Joshua to get his intravenous chemo and have a spinal tap. That's going to be moved to a week from today.

Still in the ER

It's approximately 11:10 am, and Jana and Joshua are still in the ER. No room at the inn for the little boy.

He ran fever all night, and still doesn't feel very good. Not eating very much, so we are hoping he doesn't have some sort of stomach bug.

Jana had the distinct pleasure of "sleeping" on a fold out chair last night. I've done it; it's awesome.

More soon, but we're still waiting to talk to a hemoc doctor to see what's up.

Back to the Hospital

I hate to write it, alot, but Joshua didn't feel well when he came home from school today. We watched him all afternoon and evening, but he didn't have a fever . . . until 8:45. So Jana and Joshua are headed to the ER. Again. Sigh.

Would you please pray for us? We're all a little discouraged, and in fact, I'm coming off a day of food poisoning so not at my best. Please pray if you read this tonight that Joshua doesn't have to be admitted to the hospital and he can come home.

The New Layout

I have never considered myself to be very lucky. Blessed, of course, but not lucky. Now, since the blowup of blog giveaways, I'm starting to change my tune. First, I won the very useful, and super nerdy Couponizer. And then a few weeks ago, I won a blog redesign worth $60. WOW! Thanks to link on MoneySavingMom to The Glorious Mayhem. I left a comment and low and behold I won. 

So, here it is. It was designed by RS Design. She did a great job, especially considering that Michael and I asked for something neither feminine or masculine. Revka was great about answering questions and going with whatever flow I sent her way.

Also, the photos at the top were taken by my dear friend, Andrea Rhodes. She is an amazing photographer and all around good person. You can check out her site here.

It Was Exactly 48 Hours

So, it has been brought to our attention that some of you assumed we were still in hospital since we had not updated. We showed up at Joshua's MDO yesterday and our arrival was clearly a surprise to everyone. Then, when we saw some friends at the park, they had the same reaction. So, I apologize to everyone for being slow to share the good news.

The doctors let us go home at precisely 9pm on Monday. Apparently, having the chills means the doctors need to watch both Joshua and his blood cultures for exactly 48 hours. It was very different to be waiting by the door to see the clock tick over and hear the nurse tell us it is OK to go. Usually, we are watching counts and waiting curiously as we try to read the doctors minds about when we will go home. It was kind of nice. Nice in that I hope we don't go back to the hospital soon way.

I Got Chills, They're Multiplyin'...

We learned something new this weekend. "Chills" are a big deal. Who knew?

Joshua had a great day on Saturday, even completing some home improvements with daddy (with only one extra hole drilled in the wall of the living room.) Then he took a bath, and got out saying he was so cold. And he couldn't get warm. Then the fever came, so we called the ER. And we said the dreaded word: chills.

Apparently "chills" can be an indication that there is an infection in his central line, the port in his chest through which he gets his chemo every 4 weeks. So even though his fever wasn't high and hasn't returned, and even though his counts look good, here we sit on the 6th floor in our own little room of the children's hospital.

The docs have taken some blood cultures to make sure there's no infection; so far so good and they're not really concerned. Nevertheless, the word is 48 hours for observation. The good news is that this is one of the few times we have been in the hospital where Joshua has been well enough to leave his room, so we can actually get out in the hospital a little and look around. Hopefully we won't be here too long.

Halloween 2008

This is only picture I got before my camera battery died (and I've lost the charger - an issue for another day). Even still, you can see that we had some cute trick-or-treaters to send into the neighborhood.

Overall, the day was good. We took the kids to Joshua's appointment dressed and ready for a happy Halloween. We were a bit disappointed by the number of people that were also dressed up (not many today), but everyone was more than happy to give Joshua and Andi the attention they expected. Of course, the attention came with goodies as well. The kids came away with new DVD's, books, stickers, and plenty of candy.  Not too shabby.

As for Joshua's health, his blood counts are up, but he's still not clear of infection. He has two ear infections which means we still need to stay clear of crowds through the weekend. Also, we will return to the clinic again for blood counts on Wednesday. Please pray that the chemo he started again today would not draw his counts down too fast as he is recovering from the infections. 

Matthew

We have posted a few times about the struggle that Matthew Litchfield was having in his battle against cancer. Last night, Matthew's struggle came to an end. Matthew has gone to be with Jesus. Please continue to pray for his parents, Tricia and Jeff.

Now We're Cookin'

Since we have had sufficient time at home, I decided to get the kids in the kitchen with me. This is kind of a huge thing for me. I am usually a control freak about cleanliness while I cook. You know, wiping down the counter top after every ingredient and using a wet paper towel to clean off spice jars. Maybe a bit over the top, but that's my way. This week I let that all go....well, most of it. 

We all put on aprons and went to work. We made cookies, bread, cupcakes (thanks to Noelle for the quarantine care package), and chicken and dressing (I'm already craving Thanksgiving food). The kids did great and we all had a great time doing it. They got their hands dirty and I got my kitchen dirty. It was all worth! Now, once we get out of here, we'll be happy to share all of these goodies.

Andi and Joshua digging into the leftover cake batter.

Yes, that is Joshua cooking in a Power Ranger costume. Not an uncommon sight at our house these days. I can't wait for you to see the entire get-up tomorrow.

Andi was asleep while Joshua decorated the cupcakes. I don't think she could have used quite as much restraint as Joshua did. Also, the towel over Joshua's shoulder was placed there by him. He told me it made him look like a real chef. I think he was right.

The Good News

1. Today it was cold in Tennessee. That means my kids get to wear their winter hats for the first time. Aren't they cute?!

2. Joshua's next clinic appointment is Friday. Friday is Halloween. Halloween is the best day of the year to be at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (lots of attention and loads of candy). We should know. Joshua spent the last two Halloweens there. You can read about that here. Just scroll down a bit. Frankly, there may be no other place that Joshua would rather be. Joshua and Andi will both go dressed in their costumes. We're looking forward to sharing those pictures with you very soon.

Low Counts

Just got the word back from the clinic. They're not rechecking Joshua into the hospital, but his counts are definitely low. Lower than they were yesterday when they released us from the hospital, so it looks like there's not going to be much of a Halloween for our family here.

The low counts mean Joshua is on serious restriction - no school, no friends, no crowds, no trunk-or-treat, you get the idea. At this point, we're just hoping that some good rest and isolation will help them to rebound before he gets another fever. So we'd love for you to pray along with us that direction for the next several days.

Also, in case you were wondering what kind of crowds we were planning to be around tonight, go check out Michael's post, Cancer Gives, and Cancer Takes Away.

Coming Home. Staying Home.

Doctors released Joshua to come home today. His blood counts are still very low which means we are on restriction until they come back up. Joshua feels good despite these low counts so we will doing some creative entertaining. Thankfully we have a big backyard with tons of freshly fallen leaves. See you all on the other side of good counts.

Inpatient

Bad news. Joshua's blood counts weren't nearly as low as they have been in the past, but they were low enough. Probably they would have sent us home if it wasn't the weekend, but since we can't come to the clinic tomorrow because it's Sunday, the docs checked Joshua in, hopefully not for too long.

We know lots of people still in the clinic, and one of them is Matthew. Matthew is a courageous young man who has battled through leukemia, a bone marrow transplant, and now some complications from that transplant. Early this morning, Matthew had to go to the PICU because of the carbon dioxide level in his lungs. So he left his room in 6A, expecting to come back, but because "someone" needed it, his mom had to clean out his stuff.

It's hard to think we might be the someone. It's harder to think about the hard, hard battle Matthew is still fighting. And his battle is hard.

As you're praying for Joshua's blood counts to come up, I would urge you to also pray for Matthew. You can read more about his story here.

It's Been a Good Run...

... but it's 5:50 am on Saturday and Jana and Joshua are headed to the hospital. Pretty much out of nowhere, Joshua woke up at 4 saying he felt bad; he had a low grade fever, but not a big deal. About an hour later, his fever went up to the point where he needed to go to the ER.

It's been over 7 months since we made a trip like this; we're grateful for the time off we've had, and hopeful that this isn't too bad. They will check his counts, give him some antibiotics, and evaluate his situation this morning at the hospital.

We're praying his counts are good and they will just send us home rather than admitting him.

More soon...

Two Years Later...

October 18 marked the 2 year anniversary of Joshua's diagnosis with leukemia. He continues to do well, after a 2 year cycle of oral chemo everyday, intravenous chemo every 4 weeks, and a spinal tap every 12. There's only about 15 more of those 4 week cycles to go, as we will end treatment, God willing, before Christmas of next year. 

Last year at this time, Jana and I posted some of the reflections we had over the first year. You can read that post if you're interested by clicking here and scrolling down a little bit to the entry from October 18.

To continue the tradition, here are some more reflections that have come as we finish this leg of the journey. If you've been reading the blog a while, some of these might sound familiar, but here goes:

1. God draws straight lines with crooked sticks. I once heard Harry Reeder say this, and it's proven to be true. I think it expresses the confidence that God has a clear purpose and direction in mind though the pathway is crooked. It's difficult. Faith is trusting in the one holding the stick, not in the apparent circumstances of the drawing.

2. Real community bears each other's burdens. As heavy as leukemia is, we look around us and see the shoulders of our friends and family drooping under its weight as well. They don't turn it on and off either; the carry it with us. 

3. There's nothing like a plastic sword to help out a kid. Joshua and I bought a sword for 50 cents at a garage sale, and many a tough day has been made better by fighting off imaginary dragons in our living room.

4. Everybody medicates their pain somehow; some forms of medication are just more obvious. There's alcohol, drugs, and other substances we use to try and take us away from reality, but then there's also movies, music, and, yes, even church. These are all things we can lose ourselves in, all as a part of an effort to not face up to the reality of our circumstances.

5. I think people during moments of crisis come to church, but I don't think they come there looking for answers necessarily. Maybe this is where we go wrong sometimes. Instead, I think they come looking for an acknowledgment of struggle, that life is difficult and not quite as cut and dry as we might think. 

6. In some ways, I think waiting rooms are the closest representations to heaven there is, simply because there are no petty divisions in waiting rooms. There's no black or white, rich or poor. There is only a group of people with a common linking that bonds them together. Such is the case with heaven. People aren't divided along racial or economic lines; they instead are bound together by one common thing—a pair of wooden beams nailed together.

7. Control is a myth. We strive and strive for it, but the reality is we are one moment away from life turning upside down. Insurance, 401K's, burglar alarms, seat belts - they're all fine things, so long as we don't fool ourselves into thinking we are really controlling anything.

8. There are alot of unsung heroes at the hospital, people like the care partners who take temperatures and change diapers with such skill that they don't even wake you up at night. Or the nurses who are willing to play in a pick up baseball game in the hallway. Those folks are rarely recognized but are vital for putting one foot in front of the other in this journey.

9. Those who walk deeply with the Lord are also those who have wrestled with Him. Indeed, I think a big part of our spiritual development and growth is our ability to process and embrace the pain that all of us have in our lives. 

10. That being the case, most of us never do. We never think too much about it because it hurts, and so we find ourselves outwardly moving forward but inwardly stalled in the middle of our pain, resentment, and bitterness.

11. It's okay to acknowledge the difficulties we have with God; it's not okay to live there. At some point you've got to move forward in faith. That's what the psalmist did; so many of the psalms have a section of complaint against the Lord, but they don't end like that. They end with the psalmist making the choice to believe and to have hope. And it is a choice.

12. Is there a greater blessing from the Lord than kids? Don't think so - at least not today.

13. God is more interested in who we are than what we do. I have alot of questions about the future. Where will we go? What will I do? I know those questions are important, and I know God cares about answering them. But I think He cares more what's going on inside of me, knowing that the work in me will lead to work through me.

14. God is mysterious. That's all I have to say about that.

15. Faith is work. Some have argued throughout history that Christianity is a crutch for the weak-minded, for those who cannot accept that the universe hands out disease and blessing completely at random. I disagree. In the last 2 years if would have been much easier many days to stop believing. It's harder to believe, because believing means wrestling with the truths of God.

16. Finally this - I am convinced that the Lord loves us deeply. He's not mad at us. And He wants to walk with us intimately. That's good news.

2 Years Ago Today

Today is October 18, and 2 years ago today I was sitting in a doctor’s office. We had noticed a rash on Joshua’s stomach and I took him to his pediatrician to get him fixed up. The rash ended up being a symptom of a greater problem, caused by capillaries bursting below his skin because his white blood cell count was so high. His white blood cell count was so high because some 80% of his blood cells were affected by leukemia.

Today’s the anniversary, and today we have alot of hope in this situation as Joshua’s treatment continues to press on and go well. But it does feel strange to be grizzled veterans at this point, having done this stuff for 2 years. On the blog on Monday, I’ll be posting some reflections from year 2, but until then, thanks for reading and praying with us through this.

My Sisters

Amy and Kim -- You both constantly amaze me. Thank you for being a constant source of encouragement in my life. It is so good to know that I will always have a best friend to call. You are my experts for basically everything in my life and there is absolutely no one I can spend more time with in Target. I am glad to know I have you both with me to walk through all of our joys and pain together. 

So Soon

Joshua's treatment week always comes around far too quickly. Wednesday we go in to have another round of chemo and begin steroids all over again. I usually start getting nervous about this time every month. However, based on last month's side effects, we may be in for a smooth ride after all. Thanks for continuing to pray, it is obviously being heard.

Crunching Numbers

In light of the financial crisis Michael talked about here, I thought I'd put Andi to work today.

Chili's for Dinner

Today, Chili's is donating 100% of its proceeds to St. Jude's Research Hospital. While this is not the hospital that treated Joshua, it is the place where his treatment plan was developed. And by the looks of Joshua these days, it is a fine plan indeed! So, I will be nudging Michael to go out to eat tonight and I hope to see you all there. If you go, make a Chili's in Joshua's honor. Or go here and make one from home. Happy eating!

(HT: Renee)

Ee Aww

Andi has learned only a few words so far. She uses sign language regularly, but the actually words are not quite as quick. So, the other day when Joshua came out of his room riding a stick horse, you can imagine my surprise to hear Andi stand up and yell, "EE AWW!" She ran to get the cowboy hat in the playroom and continued yelling, "EE AWW! EE AWW!" I wasn't quite sure what she was saying until Joshua starting yelling, "YEE HAW" right along with her. Now, every time Andi sees a horse or hears Old McDonald she begins say, "Eee Aww," all over again. It is really cute.

Here are a few more pictures that will make you want to give her a good squeeze the next time you see her.

Did They Forget Something?

As you already know, the weekend following treatment is trying for everyone in our family. Wednesday night I (Michael was out of town) braced myself for several middle of the night wake-ups. Instead, Thursday morning I woke up refreshed with 2 happy kids.

A little weird.

But sometimes it takes until Friday for things to go south on a treatment week. But Thursday night came and went, and so did Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday.

In fact, the week went so well and was so comparatively easy that I convinced myself that the hospital had forgotten to give Joshua his chemo treatment at all. After all, I didn't pay that close of attention when he was getting it, so I fabricated in my mind how they had simply neglected to push through his chemo.

I actually called the hospital today to check, and they assured me that they had indeed given Joshua his medicine. Nothing to do at this point except praise the Lord for another 4 weeks down, this one without many side effects. 

The Battle

Tomorrow is another Wednesday at the clinic. Joshua will once again receive chemotherapy and an immune booster, followed by 5 days of steroids. It will be a difficult week, but today I was reminded of all the patients that have walked this tough road. Renee put together this slide show for Childhood Cancer Awareness Day. It shows all of the people we have come to love on the 6th floor and the poor families that have lost this ugly battle.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Make a Wish

If you're not familiar with the Make a Wish Foundation, it may be one of the coolest, more generous organizations we've ever run across. The idea behind it is to allow kids with life threatening illnesses make a wish, and see that wish granted.

They let kids meet random Nascar drivers, take them on shopping sprees, buy them computers, attend sporting events and play catch with famous baseball players, buy huge playground equipment for the backyard, and countless other things.

The time has come for Joshua to make his wish.

So we had a meeting last night with Jacilyn, his make a wish consultant. Now here's the thing - there have been families in the past who have tried to work the system a little bit, making their kids wish for a new hummer or to have their mortgage paid off. So we knew that wouldn't work. But to prevent that, each consultant has an interview time with the kid where they draw pictures together and answer questions. My assumption is that they take all this information to craft the experience.

Joshua's interview was pretty revelatory. Here are a few choice tidbits, complete with what we were thinking:

Jacilyn: What's your favorite food?
Joshua: Strawberries
(Wow - pretty healthy start Joshua. Maybe you should have said prime rib.)

Jacilyn: How about junk food? Do you like chips, or candy?
Joshua: Yes. I like Sunchips.
(Hmmm... we've had Sunchips once. At lunch yesterday. Daddy likes Skittles, Joshua.)

Jacilyn: What if you could have anything in the world? What would you want?
Joshua: A Wall-E movie.
(What? Really? How about a life sized robot to cook and clean instead? Or maybe a hummer?)

Jacilyn: If you could meet anybody in the world? Like a football player or a baseball player?
Joshua: Eli. I would meet Eli.
(That's great. Your cousin Eli. That you see 3 times a week.)

In all seriousness, though, it was awesome. Joshua did a great job, and he did just what he was supposed to do - be honest. We will not at this time be revealing what the end result of his wish is; you'll have to wait a while to find out, but we're pretty excited.

30, Finally!

As my birthday has been approaching, several people have asked me how I feel about turning 30. My answer, "Bring it on." My life, up until now, has been full. It has included world travel, a beautiful wedding to a wonderful man, a successful (I'll be it short) career as a teacher, two amazing children, and great friends to accompany me all along the way. Along with these joyous pieces of my 30 years, I've experienced difficulty that I didn't think possible in my 20's: walking with my parents through failing health and disappointment and sitting with son through months and months of chemotherapy. After all of this, good and bad, I feel like I should have been 30 five years ago. 

In effort to stay looking and feeling young, I will continue to obsessively exercise, shop at Forever 21, and watch movies that were made for 15 year olds. If you see me wearing mom jeans, running for PTA president, or buying the best of Barbara Streisand, please remind me that 30 is the new 20 these days.

Regardless of how I look or what is to come in the next decade of life, I do know that my God has proven himself faithful. I look forward to all ways that God will continue to draw me closer to Himself.

A Better School Day

Some of you may remember the blubbering post from last year. If you look back, we confessed the tears that flowed after we dropped Joshua off at Mother's Day Out. This year was much different. Joshua didn't cry. I didn't cry. Andi, on the other hand, cried pretty hard. But then she stopped.

The kids had a great first day of school. Joshua had a blast and Andi quit crying almost immediately. Joshua's teachers were very concerned to know all about his health, his needs, and what we expected from them. Incidentally, this is the same group of teachers who almost 2 years ago pointed out a rash on Joshua's stomach that would eventually lead us to the leukemia diagnosis. It's pretty amazing to think that many of them have prayed for him for these long months and now he's back in their lives again.

We're looking forward to a great year.

Lake Life

Our good friend, Allison, invited us to join her at her parents' lake house on Lake Keowee for Labor Day weekend. Even though we were apprehensive about the six hour drive to get there, it was very clearly worth it. 

Joshua was like a little fish in the water. He ran and jumped off the dock about 500 times and loved inner tubing with us. Michael and I loved getting to water ski again after a long hiatus. Joshua was so enamoured by the water skiing that he referred to his inner tube as his water skis. 

Andi was a bit of different story. While she did look very precious in her swimsuit and life jacket, she did not take to the confinement of any life preserver. Needless to say this made us all very nervous, but Andi did come away from the weekend even more golden brown than before.

All in all, it was a relaxing and fun weekend. Our soreness from the water sports is going away and we look forward to doing it all over again soon. Look out Platts, we may be joining you soon!

Allison: A Tribute

This summer marks the end of an era. Our dear friend, Allison, took a new job. We are excited for her in lots of ways, but the past two clinic visits have held a sadness that wasn't there before. You see, Allison, left her job as a Child Life Specialist at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. 

Few people know this, but on October 11, 2006, I went to visit Allison at work. I had the day off from teaching, so Melissa and I decided to meet Allison at the Pancake Pantry for a late brunch. On a whim, I asked Allison, if I could get a tour of the hospital and see what it is she does. 

So, we toured. She took me by her office, the food court, the play rooms, the performance stage, the trains, and then by the Myelosuppression Unit on the 6th floor. All the while, explaining the purpose behind each. As I walked down to bid her farewell, I turned around and said, "I never want a reason to come back here, but I'm so glad this place exists."

How on earth could I have known that the next day I would be coming to that same place to hear the dreaded news about Joshua's defective blood. All the while, knowing that when I got there, my sweet friend would be there to show me the way.

Allison sat with us as we cried the night Joshua was diagnosed. She stood with me and explained every procedure the first time they happened. She sat on the cold hospital floor and played with Joshua for hours so that we could catch our breath. She brought me countless Dr. Peppers. She stole toys from all over the hospital to make sure Joshua was well stocked. She laughed with us when we were finally able to laugh again. She met us in the Emergency Room every single time, even when we told her she didn't need to. She met us in the clinic every Wednesday for a solid year. 

I miss her. The last two clinic appointments have gone well, but there is still a hole, a feeling of loneliness that I didn't expect. Allison has played a major role in the healing that is taking place in all our lives. I know that she will continue to do so, just in a different way. 

So here's to you, our dear friend, and thanks for being willing to be a tangible example of the Lord's care and grace.

We're Knights, That's Right

We survived the dreaded steroids week with no hiccups. One of the ways to help Joshua through these weeks is to provide distractions from the discomfort he is having. So, we go to the park regularly, visit the zoo, plan a trip to the pool, or whatever will balance his entertainment with his exhaustion. 

This week, we discovered that the Backyardigans were performing live on stage at TPAC. It was about knights and dragons, two of Joshua's favorite subjects these days. If you are not familiar with the Backyardigans, they are the coolest toddler television cartoon around. They sing, dance, and imagine with the best of them. I strongly encourage you to check them out. 

Joshua was disappointed that the "real" Backyardigans didn't come. They were just people dressed up like the Backyardigans. This did, however, provide a great distraction for Joshua and he came home singing at the top of his lungs, "We're knights. That's right." 

Training

So it begins. Michael is already hot on the trail training for the St. Jude Marathon.  I, on the other hand, have been putting off officially training for the St. Jude Half Marathon for a while now. I haven't stopped running, but my mileage is way behind what would qualify for half marathon status. Luckily, I have found a few friends that are willing to trot along with me. Our training officially begins after Labor Day. That will give us just over 12 weeks to whip our bodies back into running condition. St. Jude is a great hospital that has provided care for many sick kids and has done the research for Joshua's treatment plan. Training will be tough, but the cause is a good one. 

Read this article. It'll make you want to join us. Well, at least come cheer us on.

Praying for the Peabodys

I am grieving alongside this sweet family. I don’t know exactly what to say, except their little boy Joseph was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. After many long months of treatment, they received recently the news that no parent ever wants to hear. You can read Allen and Gillian’s latest blog post here, and then join me in praying for them.

News from the Clinic...

Everything went well yesterday, though it took a little longer than usual. Joshua's blood counts looked good and everything went as normal. He got his vincristine through his port and his spinal tap, promptly waking up to an Icee in his hands. He was perfectly normal coming home and played all afternoon and evening. Probably by noon today we will be able to see some of the effects of the treatment, but so far so good.

On another note, we want to recognize that this journey is a long one for all of us, including you. We know it's not easy every 4 weeks to get a blog or email asking you to pray for us, and yet you continue to do so. You pray, you comment, and you call, and we appreciate it. 3 years is a long time to have that cycle going for all of us, but your perseverance is loved, respected, and appreciated.

To the Clinic

Big day tomorrow. Joshua goes back to the clinic for his 4 week dose of chemo as well as a spinal tap. This is week 12 of the 12 week cycle, the dreaded day that combines the intravenous medicine as well as the spinal tap.

So if you're in a praying mood (or even if you aren't I suppose) we would really appreciate you remembering us tomorrow and in the following days. Usually the 5 days following a treatment like tomorrow's are the worst of the 12 weeks, marked by discomfort, frustration, and strong emotion from the little boy. So onward we press; thanks for going there with us.

Pig Tails and Big Wheels

After many attempts, I finally got Andi's hair up in her first set of pig tails. She couldn't be any cuter! It makes her look like such a big girl. Thankfully she still likes to cuddle up her mommy and remember that she's still my baby. I know that won't last long.

Meet Flash. This is Joshua's new pride and joy. We got this bike for Joshua's birthday. It took a few days for him to get used to it, but it is now a daily routine. He races around the cars and pretends that a dinosaur, lion, or train is chasing him. No worries though, Flash is fast enough to take on any of these competitors. 

Promotion Sunday For Us All

On Sunday, Joshua will move up to the 4 year old class at Grace Community Church. He is very aware that he will move across the hall and couldn't be more excited. Andi will also be moving on. Obviously, she is unaware of the move today, but by Sunday when she doesn't have her favorite teacher rocking her to sleep, she may realize that something is a bit different.

As for Michael and me, we are making a promotion of our own. During the first year after Joshua's diagnosis we chose to leave the church we were attending. There were lots of reasons for that, but a big one for me was the need for anonymity. I had a very hard time being in casual relationships. I wanted the people around me to either know every detail of every doctors appointment and hospital stay, or not even know that Joshua was sick. So, we visited churches and even after joining GCC, we acted like we were visiting there. We didn't make an initiative to know anyone. For 8 months, we walked in late, left early and stayed in our bubble. 

Now, as God continues to bring redemption, we promote. We have slowly busted out of our bubble to make some new friends and even stay late to chat in the parking lot once and a while. Even more, Michael will be teaching a Sunday school class. Talk about promotion. I am really excited to be under his teaching again and know that so many people will be blessed by his gift of communication. 

Happy Promotion Day everyone!

I Don't Think She Knows...

...that she's only 15 months old.

Joshua had just finished a baseball game and Andi decided it was her turn.

This shot is of Andi using all her strength to get Joshua off of her car. I probably should have intercepted rather than snapping pictures, but the intensity on Andi's face needed to be documented.

I AM WHO I AM

Scott spoke today from Exodus 3:10-15, when Moses is standing on the holy ground in front of the burning bush. God speaks to him about His plans to rescue the Israelites from slavery. Once again, it was thought provoking and encouraging.

I came away from it knowing these things:

1. My inadequacies are not answered by my training and qualifications, but by His name. I AM. I WILL BE with you.

2. God is eternal, self-existent, self-sufficient and unchanging. Yet, He chooses to enter relationship with me.

3. God truly is He who exists and will always be with me in every situation of my life.

I'm Back.

I had the privilege of spending five days with my husband in New Mexico at Glorieta Conference Center. Since I grew up in New Mexico it was especially fun for the week to packed with childhood memories. It was also close enough for my sisters and their families to join us for a day. It was a wonderful week filled with lots of relaxation, Mexican food, and quality time with Michael. Since we've had children, I very rarely get to travel with Michael when he is preaching out of town. Thankfully Michael's parents offered to keep the kids and I was able to join him at this event.

I have always enjoyed the way that Michael preaches, but this week it was better than I remembered. Michael not only speaks truth with wisdom but also always emotionally attaches himself to the passage. You can listen for yourself here.

Upon returning home, I realized what a blessing it was to have Gram and Papaw stay with our children. Joshua stayed healthy the entire time, but Andi came down with the Hand/Foot/Mouth Virus. If you're unfamiliar with this dreaded affliction, it causes sores inside the mouth and throat as well as on the hands and feet. Needless to say, Gary and Judy had many sleepless nights and whiney days. Andi was nevertheless well-loved.

Apparently Michael and forget to take pictures when our kids aren't around. These are the only two we took all week.